2012?

Well its already coming to the middle of the year and here i am writing here..well, busy as a bee they say? thats bullshit i think, busy til one don't have time to have a poo-session is more like it.

anyways, just feel like updating this page, its mine and its been a while since i last wrote it. Felt guilty. Ja-na!

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Testing one testing two
Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Time after Time

I just feel that one after another negativity is after me, sleepless nights it gave me. Embracing it was tough but life goes on. Its tough, mentally i'm disturb most of the time. When is this going to end. I'm not saying that I want to be negativeless, its ridiculous to say such words since I'm still living on Earth. A handful of them is normal. This is enormous amount. I always believe that there is a balance to it. This I hold on to. For the greater good. Ahoogah!

Getting to it..

Ahh..finally getting to the thing I'm suppose to write about to "release"..

Heres the thing, this bloody thing has been playing inside my mind for the past few weeks, lets make it months. After all the hard work I put in, though I don't have enough time for it. I think I made progress in handling the pot that I'm cooking shits innit. kapish?

Well, it all boils down to this. We are enslave by the oldest business module ever made in mankind history. Prostitution.

Why would I say that, heres one good short and simple explanation. You pay a certain amount of money, you get a fuck! Cum or an hour which ever comes 1st! Yeah! Thats what you do when you go to a brothel. In some country, things get more innovative, they throw in massage session, bath sessions, oiling sessions, even singing sessions, or show sessions before a fuck! Lovely!

But rule of thumb is, you get paid, you get fucked! You pay to fuck! get it?

We are bind to this business module until this very day. The more you get paid, the more fucked you are. Look at even credit cards, they fucked up your lifetime savings! Thats how old and viral this business module is, though its old its fucken affective! even to this very day!

Even the hierarchy of providing such services comes organized. Daymn! You get to pick assorted packages which comes with various price tags, and when you sell your product line you try and gain maximum margin. Creating a demand for that product line, you make a big margin out of it! Yeah, thats why Hungarian chics now is like Da BOMB!

Sheesh, finally that methodology comes out of my head. I'm just tired being prostitutized (yeah I made that word up and I'm proud I did)

I seriously do not know what to do now, can you believe that? me not knowing what to do? I seen my limits and I want to improve, but how can you improve when you're in pitch black and people start to ambush you with sidearms to claymores?

Well, this is what I believe ( I still don't believe in guardian angels) to be patient and sucking it up to get paid by end of the month. Cause 2011 is near so do I to my passage to FREEDOM! Gosh I can't stop thinking about FREEDOM! I know i'm just 31 in 2011 and I'm suppose to be like working 1000 times harder then other prostitute, but hey, Thunder Strikes right? Let me be the Storm that roars! haha!

Jana!

Guardian Angel

As I browse through my post I see this "Guardian Angel" posting on my blog, hmm...I wonder who..cause 1. I don't believe in Guardian Angel, cause their sub conscious of our Great Mind. And 2. If any of you disapprove me of being such a free thinker, think again. The only reason you still breath is you used your brains to do so. :)

aha...i'm back

well after having a good time shitting i'm back and its 1:21am...hmm..well i just feel like updating my blog...its like the feel of need of writing is back..just that this time its more intense...i need to "release" to "fill it up"

Aha!

Well, Its been a while since I last WROTE in here! phew....heres my chance..! I've been waiting for this very day...oh wait..I need to pass motion before I write something awesome...brb..its 1:07am

The Wind

I've been so fucken busy with my life lately that at one point I don't have time to myself. Well, the fact that so many things happen though its only been a year means its a fucken good sign. But, to manage all those things in place is still a havoc in my head. Well, lucky I have the time to sit at home everytime I come back from home to organize the piles of shiet. And then came a spider. Truthfully, I would really like to get a steady girlfriend. After the things that happened to me today...fuck this shit..Its like wanting to fly a kite there is no wind. Dammit! I never think negative of this girl this time. But the she was like over thinking things and now this...fuck! I just don't want to be in this position anymore its enough. I don't want to be cornered to the wall and have to answer the questions on the wall which makes no sense and at the same time its a fucken wall! dammit! i need interaction! not wall! I had enough walls around me for four fucken years that broke me once. I'm not gonna be broken again. NEVER! Whatever I'm doing now is all not right, the best part, I get no answer and in return get a pile of shit just because I ask how are you doing? What da fuck is going on? Ish! If I pull the Kite and theres no wind, wait for the fucken wind to come then!

June

Though so much has happen I don't know why am I still in a jolly mood, as in really bad things had happen to me and my surroundings. Owh well, its only the 14th and yeah to me I still celebrate the month of June and refuse to be down anytime soon, to earn my freedom is agony, but with the right thoughts of how to get that freedom. I shall earn it in the end. And so, the wait continues.

weeeeeee....

guess what? i have a follower! wahahahhaha...this is awesome..though its just one, its a start..a new start for me to start back this writing thingy! :)

Chalk

At this very moment I should be driving a GTI with a DSG in it. At this very moment I should have a Ultra Mega Photonic Gaming Rig! And, at this very moment I should be living my life to the fullest! But why is it not happening? Have I not Worked enough? Have I not dream enough? I guess Patience is a Virtue. May the Waves of Mystery come to me from all angles and shall I prevail.

Its been a while..

Last Friday, I get to go out with Ben and Sugarcane. This time I didn't do any stupid moves! (Did I?) Its been a while, though its just uptown with Ais Kacang, Chee Cheong Fun and a couple of drinks, its still fun. To see her again, this time I get to snap her! *giggles*. I definitely can visualize that, this year I'll be taking loads of shots of human subjects! *hint* Can't wait! Til then..Ja-Na

Ojective Oriented

To win a war, you maybe to lose some battles. That's what objective oriented people do. Here's a thought. What if we can apply the same methods in life? Isn't that interesting?

"To achieve your objective, sacrifice is a must."

But, to fully understand the rule of Operation Objective Oriented (OOO), one need to understand the World War II war reports. Well, some of you might not even be interested in reading them. Well, read no more! Come and drop shells with me and the answers to all doubt shall be answered!

With the Companions of Heroes, you will experience friendship, hardship, stress-ship, joy-ship, evil-ship and also best of all is the taste of revenge, the sweetness of it all!

Oh! Mighty One..

For my heart is engulfing my body,
For I start to feel silly,
I need Your Strength,
I need Your Willpower,
I need You to by My torch,
To go forth, is getting harder each day,
To be at the point, is fading away in fog,

Oh, Mighty One,
Please don't Leave me at times like this,
Please give me a chance to light It up Again,
Like how I've Lit It up for the First Time,

For I give hope, I gain hope, I preach hope,
I would like to receive hope,
I want to be There,
I want to reach There,
Let Me be There,
For I can foresee, there's so much can be done,
That can mold the future generations,

May it be a minor change,
In due time it will be One,
In due time it will all be how We all want.

Oh Mighty One,
Bear with me,
Just a little bit more time,
Just a little bit more joy,
Just a little bit more hope,
And It all will End Well.

I will..

I will...

Slow down playing CoH,
Spend more time with you,
Get to know you more,
Slow down smokin',
Take more pictures of that gorgeous you,

If Valentina Vaughn is my girlfriend...

I will...

Stop playing CoH,
Stop watching porn,
Stop idling around,
Stop building castle in the air,
Get a life,
Get more closer to you,
Smoke with you,
Do everything with you,
Not only take pictures, but videos of you and me,

If Nautica Thorn is my girlfriend...

Ja-Na!

Striked Out!

After a good session of games, I went back home..and found out that my internet connection is down..AGAIN! I thought that maybe the exchange at the ISP is down. This morning I checked again. Its still down. Moments after that, I called up the ISP, the line is still active. There we go the router is stroked by lightning.

I'm not sad or furious about it. I'm just wondering to myself. Why is there so much I have to go through with? Or is it really The Time to move on and do something else? Is this really The Time to Go?

I wish someone could help me to get The Answers. I guess only The Mind can. What a life to live, knowing that The Mind has all the answers, but The Conscious just can't find it.

Ja-Na

Music Stick!

It was a sunny Sunday, until the rain pour! Well, wished the weather this year would be a pleasing one and that's what you get. Like they say be careful for what you wish for!

I was suppose to play another round of gun powder and artillery shell, due to the rain, I'm stuck at home! damn! I even got my sponsors waiting! *grins*

Well, after cooking a packet of Ramen (tomato flavour! My favourite!) (which my mom got from a massage machine promotion) i felt at least my stomach ain't that hungry.

As I browse through what I've downloaded and did some housekeeping,(even the porn industry is slowing down..dangz) I stumble across an album which i acquired and guess what? Its from Lady GaGa. I remembered I saw her first sing out in "So You Think You Can Dance" last year; boy!, she got wicked shades! *laughs*

All I can say is her tunes are insanely addictive! *laughs* very club-ish, catchy! You might wanna check it out!

The smell of artillery shells & gun powder!

Its been a while since I last had a decent gathering with my fellow mates and have a good dose of gaming in a cyber cafe! (only 1 week actually)

But this time, its rather different. I guess its because we decided to join the upcoming tournament that the cyber cafe owner is going to organize. For the fun of it, since the game that we play is having a very good response in that particular cyber cafe. I'm really happy that the owner really put effort in expanding the gaming scene in Malaysia.

The cyber cafe that I'm mentioning is in Aman Suria, its called Tbunt. Decent lighting, loads of PCs (with and without headphones), hot chics to look at! *giggles* the best of all, they play games! daymn!

The game that I mentioned earlier is called Companies of Heroes: Opposing Front. Its something like Blizzard's Starcraft, or some people call it RTS (Real Time Strategy) kind of genre.

This is one game that is not easy to capture the gamers heart. But, with proper exposure it will give a cyber cafe a good revenue.

I'm also glad that they listen to their customers. The day I mentioned about Warhammer 40,000: Dawn Of War 2, the next visit (which was before I blog this) Its installed! And it only launched a week ago! Now that's what I call initiative! I respect that! They really have the passion for gamers!

What a way to spend my Saturday night. I know its lame to play games on a Saturday, mostly people will drink so much til it take them 20 mins to walk bake to their car, 30 mins to find the keys, 3 hours to reach home and another 45 mins to figure out which key is the lock and which key is for the door. *giggles*

Anyways, have a great weekend! Ja-Na!

W221 350L Finally!

I've always fantasize of driving the new Mercedes S Class W221 350L (long wheelbase)the moment I laid eyes on it months back. Today I got to drive it! Sweet! As expected the interior feels good( of course nothing beats the Rolls Royce interior). I repeat it feels good, not look the looks. The tachometer was awesome! its like GUI on PC *giggles*.

The torque was good but still can feel the jerky feeling. Speed was impressive. Cornering was rather scary. It felt like I'm gonna sway off the road when I did a decent turn. I guess its not good to corner in high speed with this car.

What keeps my interest in this car was the harman kardon speakers. For a standard package, I was really really falling in love with it. The menu selector or I rather call it GUI (Graphic User Interface) is rather better then the BMW. I've yet to sit in any new beemers so I guess maybe theirs will be more complicated (as always)

Aha! The lumbar seats comes with vibrators that massages the drivers back, awesome!

Overall I would still buy it if I were to have Gs. Until then Ja-Na

Vacation..

To have mum taught me her ultimate secret recipe was an honor. I finally get to do it with my own to hands and it turned out fine. Taste the same! yeay! But, I still have to work on the presentation.

Basically, my whole holiday was more to perfecting my bakery skills. Which I wanted to always do for so long!

Though rain pours down every single day in Miri, Sarawak. I didn't grumble or mind a bit, I miss the chill weather, miss the mosquito bite and miss the fact that I'm back home( At least in Borneo).

I wish that I really could make it back home to my hometown. I guess the next trip will be definitely be it. Though long lost friends are off back to work or out of my hometown, I definitely miss the ambiance itself.

Its great to see relatives far and near ties gather together though some are still having troubles internally. I do really hope that things will patch up for them.

As for me, I guess it was a great CNY, for me its a new start. I really can feel it this time. 2009 maybe a year where crisis submerge all over globally. For me its going to be a great year! Ya-Ta!

Now I'm back, lets make it happen people! Though my Mind is still dangling on visual. Its getting back its sight by the day.

Enough grief, enough agony, enough jealousy, enough pain.

Time to shine, time to roll out, time to be busy, and time to be bright again!

Until then ja-na