Oh! Mighty One..

For my heart is engulfing my body,
For I start to feel silly,
I need Your Strength,
I need Your Willpower,
I need You to by My torch,
To go forth, is getting harder each day,
To be at the point, is fading away in fog,

Oh, Mighty One,
Please don't Leave me at times like this,
Please give me a chance to light It up Again,
Like how I've Lit It up for the First Time,

For I give hope, I gain hope, I preach hope,
I would like to receive hope,
I want to be There,
I want to reach There,
Let Me be There,
For I can foresee, there's so much can be done,
That can mold the future generations,

May it be a minor change,
In due time it will be One,
In due time it will all be how We all want.

Oh Mighty One,
Bear with me,
Just a little bit more time,
Just a little bit more joy,
Just a little bit more hope,
And It all will End Well.

I will..

I will...

Slow down playing CoH,
Spend more time with you,
Get to know you more,
Slow down smokin',
Take more pictures of that gorgeous you,

If Valentina Vaughn is my girlfriend...

I will...

Stop playing CoH,
Stop watching porn,
Stop idling around,
Stop building castle in the air,
Get a life,
Get more closer to you,
Smoke with you,
Do everything with you,
Not only take pictures, but videos of you and me,

If Nautica Thorn is my girlfriend...

Ja-Na!

Striked Out!

After a good session of games, I went back home..and found out that my internet connection is down..AGAIN! I thought that maybe the exchange at the ISP is down. This morning I checked again. Its still down. Moments after that, I called up the ISP, the line is still active. There we go the router is stroked by lightning.

I'm not sad or furious about it. I'm just wondering to myself. Why is there so much I have to go through with? Or is it really The Time to move on and do something else? Is this really The Time to Go?

I wish someone could help me to get The Answers. I guess only The Mind can. What a life to live, knowing that The Mind has all the answers, but The Conscious just can't find it.

Ja-Na

Music Stick!

It was a sunny Sunday, until the rain pour! Well, wished the weather this year would be a pleasing one and that's what you get. Like they say be careful for what you wish for!

I was suppose to play another round of gun powder and artillery shell, due to the rain, I'm stuck at home! damn! I even got my sponsors waiting! *grins*

Well, after cooking a packet of Ramen (tomato flavour! My favourite!) (which my mom got from a massage machine promotion) i felt at least my stomach ain't that hungry.

As I browse through what I've downloaded and did some housekeeping,(even the porn industry is slowing down..dangz) I stumble across an album which i acquired and guess what? Its from Lady GaGa. I remembered I saw her first sing out in "So You Think You Can Dance" last year; boy!, she got wicked shades! *laughs*

All I can say is her tunes are insanely addictive! *laughs* very club-ish, catchy! You might wanna check it out!

The smell of artillery shells & gun powder!

Its been a while since I last had a decent gathering with my fellow mates and have a good dose of gaming in a cyber cafe! (only 1 week actually)

But this time, its rather different. I guess its because we decided to join the upcoming tournament that the cyber cafe owner is going to organize. For the fun of it, since the game that we play is having a very good response in that particular cyber cafe. I'm really happy that the owner really put effort in expanding the gaming scene in Malaysia.

The cyber cafe that I'm mentioning is in Aman Suria, its called Tbunt. Decent lighting, loads of PCs (with and without headphones), hot chics to look at! *giggles* the best of all, they play games! daymn!

The game that I mentioned earlier is called Companies of Heroes: Opposing Front. Its something like Blizzard's Starcraft, or some people call it RTS (Real Time Strategy) kind of genre.

This is one game that is not easy to capture the gamers heart. But, with proper exposure it will give a cyber cafe a good revenue.

I'm also glad that they listen to their customers. The day I mentioned about Warhammer 40,000: Dawn Of War 2, the next visit (which was before I blog this) Its installed! And it only launched a week ago! Now that's what I call initiative! I respect that! They really have the passion for gamers!

What a way to spend my Saturday night. I know its lame to play games on a Saturday, mostly people will drink so much til it take them 20 mins to walk bake to their car, 30 mins to find the keys, 3 hours to reach home and another 45 mins to figure out which key is the lock and which key is for the door. *giggles*

Anyways, have a great weekend! Ja-Na!

W221 350L Finally!

I've always fantasize of driving the new Mercedes S Class W221 350L (long wheelbase)the moment I laid eyes on it months back. Today I got to drive it! Sweet! As expected the interior feels good( of course nothing beats the Rolls Royce interior). I repeat it feels good, not look the looks. The tachometer was awesome! its like GUI on PC *giggles*.

The torque was good but still can feel the jerky feeling. Speed was impressive. Cornering was rather scary. It felt like I'm gonna sway off the road when I did a decent turn. I guess its not good to corner in high speed with this car.

What keeps my interest in this car was the harman kardon speakers. For a standard package, I was really really falling in love with it. The menu selector or I rather call it GUI (Graphic User Interface) is rather better then the BMW. I've yet to sit in any new beemers so I guess maybe theirs will be more complicated (as always)

Aha! The lumbar seats comes with vibrators that massages the drivers back, awesome!

Overall I would still buy it if I were to have Gs. Until then Ja-Na

Vacation..

To have mum taught me her ultimate secret recipe was an honor. I finally get to do it with my own to hands and it turned out fine. Taste the same! yeay! But, I still have to work on the presentation.

Basically, my whole holiday was more to perfecting my bakery skills. Which I wanted to always do for so long!

Though rain pours down every single day in Miri, Sarawak. I didn't grumble or mind a bit, I miss the chill weather, miss the mosquito bite and miss the fact that I'm back home( At least in Borneo).

I wish that I really could make it back home to my hometown. I guess the next trip will be definitely be it. Though long lost friends are off back to work or out of my hometown, I definitely miss the ambiance itself.

Its great to see relatives far and near ties gather together though some are still having troubles internally. I do really hope that things will patch up for them.

As for me, I guess it was a great CNY, for me its a new start. I really can feel it this time. 2009 maybe a year where crisis submerge all over globally. For me its going to be a great year! Ya-Ta!

Now I'm back, lets make it happen people! Though my Mind is still dangling on visual. Its getting back its sight by the day.

Enough grief, enough agony, enough jealousy, enough pain.

Time to shine, time to roll out, time to be busy, and time to be bright again!

Until then ja-na

Its Tuesday

Well I've promise someone to update my blog on Monday. But, its already Tuesday! I guess I'll blog it out tonight. Sorry to keep you waiting CJ..

Ja-Na

Ox-ressusitated

I went back to Miri Sarawak for my CNY. Took a few photos, basically it rains the whole stay there. In KL it rains not more then 6 hours, but over there, the rain takes a break of max 15 minutes before it starts to rain again. I'll write back in on the juicy details(Still editing and choosing the right pictures)..So CJ..thanks for asking and thanks for motivating, I'm still choosing the pictures cause there are important for me to make the Tsunami of Saliva to occur..hehe..I'll prep and upload everything on by Monday. Until then Ja-Na

Idiocracy

What came out on the newspaper recently and also accusation towards the wrong party is total the act of idiotic.

How can a legalize sport is to be put to blame being using illegal items for the sport? Now what? You guys don't get the cut in between? Or just plain jealous? Or is it just lazy to even put effort in supporting the interest of the younger generation of this country.

Yes, paintball is legal in Malaysia, else why they held tournament all around Malaysia? Its generating money for everyone. The society is happy, as to the dealers, as to the law that legalized it on certain safety requirements.

No, airsoft is not legal in Malaysia, but hey, if other countries can legalize the sport, why not us? If you would to google up airsoft products. Even the military and law enforcers are impress with the result that is given. I guess Malaysia's Protector has more advance products and they have no interest in this type of bullshit.

But, if one were to get caught possessing or owning one, don't blame it on the others, don't blame it on paintball. Just make sure that airsoft is either STRICTLY illegal or ban it straight. Why is there still bits and pieces around whereby the big shots are the ones that is to get blamed for.

I'm not siding on even both side. As the matter of fact I love airsoft more then paintball, but the law abides Malaysian citizen to own one, so all we have is Youtube clips and also catalogs from the internet to quench our thirst for the passion of that sport.

I would really like to see the country evolves with more common sense in the brain and not just "whats my cut" philosophy to everything that goes in and out of the country. Fuck that!

It kills the enthusiast, it kills the dreams, therefore, it kills the interest to even live in one country when the law of it just doesn't make any sense. To evolve, to grow, one needs to bare with the consequences, due in time it will be all good. That's called effort. Is there effort in this matter?

Don't just look at the dark perspective of a sport or even a product. Think of the bright perspective on what good can it do to the society and also the country and it will be all smooth. Bad seeds will always grow, else what are law enforces for? Minimizing the cause is better then having it infected all over.

Its human nature that laws are mend to be broken, but if its kept and preserve in the proper correct manner, we can uphold and upgrade to be better human beings and not just being stagnant at one point but wish so much to grow.

Dangz

My PC's motherboard got fried! So, I'll be surfing less for the time being. I shall be blogging on an Intel Core i7 PC in the next blog entry *grin*

What's Love?

Some say,"Love makes your world a colourful one", or even "Love makes one blind" or "Love makes you things you never thought of doing before"

But what does it actually feel or mean, this Love. What does it do? How does it affect individuals? Does love have categories? Does love need conditions? Does Love even exist anymore?

Well, from My point of view, its nothing but bunch of bullshit. Its bullshit when someone is in denial of that love for something or someone. Love doesn't have to be shown or to be written. Love speaks for itself.

But, like every other word meant. Love too has pros and cons. Hah! I bet you even never thought of this one didn't you?

Lets see, whats so bad about Love? Lets start from the top. When there's love, there's jealousy. When there's jealousy, there's hatred, when there's hatred, here comes the interesting part. There's scandal, after that it becomes heartache, then it all goes around in a big circle again. Maybe I missed out a few other more important ingredients in this process of love.

But more importantly, what or would I put it, how did all of that happened? *smiles*

I can tell you one of many. It all started when a boy tells a girl, "Be mine, and I'll give you the moon and the stars". It used to be pickup lines back in our parents age.

Today its "Be mine, but you can't talk or meet any other guys"..?

So what does all that means? Its conditional Love! Imagine something so wonderful being put in as a contract? Something so pure, so sacred. Its like planting orchids then one fine day one will isolate it, cause its too precious or beautiful to be expose.

What da fuck is that suppose to mean? Does one ever remember who gave that flower to human beings? How can you decide one something that is not even yours? How can greed can just arise when one is dealing with another one? not thing?

Then comes the type of love.."I Love you, but I'm not in Love with you". Now tell me what da fuck is that suppose to mean? *giggles*

Does love have categories now? wow..There's so many rules and regulations in Love, where is the freedom? Cause that's all humankind have left.

No wonder you see people argue, kill, fight. Its all because in the beginning itself one is already spoiling the core.

Protesting or showing hatred doesn't help to get Love back. But, to build the One Love that always and has been in all human being is what we should do. So that, our future generation will enjoy the true meaning of Love. Ja-Na

How Da Fuck?

I was wishing a friend of mine yesterday a happy birthday, and wrote a poem which turns out to be something that I was kinda shocked to see it coming from me originally! It sounds like this:

Another Year, Another Number adds up,
Whatever behind you are experiences,
Whatever in front of you are plans,
But, whatever you do now
Makes that plan you have happen,
Don't worry about it,
Don't doubt it,
Don't look away from it,
You will definitely reach it,
Whichever way you take to it,
just do it!
Happy Birthday Warren my dear friend!

And when I went back home, every single sentence starts to re-play back in my mind, I was like..how da fuck did I pull this one out of the hat?

Ja-Na

2009

Everyone and every newspaper in town is saying that 2009 will have a great economical impact where everything will go through and not down the drain. Just how much more worse can humans thing about the situation that Earth is going to face?

Why can't the newspaper write the same fact but in a positive manner so that everyone has positive mindset to be ready for next year, at least!

If the whole world is to think that economically its going to slum, even the brightest philosopher can't help! Even religion can't help.

All we need to do is to look forward to 2009 with a positive mind so that everyone can emit that positive wave to the world and it will definitely be a better place to live on.

The word "teamwork" is not created for fucks. This is the time to make it to good use. Why can't there be harmonious atmosphere where everyone can bloom from it in economical aspect and civilization aspect?

Ja-Na

Another One gone with the Wind..

I just got off facebook. Again, straight in here after flipping through an album and also watching a video.

I must say I would really like to see in the end who's the last person standing! *grins*

To those that I know dearly is gonna get married or already married or in the verge of getting married just let me know and I shall drop a few lines. Don't keep me in the dark cause sooner or later...

I'LL KNOW! Ja-Na! *laughs*

Idiotic

How much more idioticity(i made this word out myself) can one get from another? Its already enough to be known that being lied in front of someone makes that same one not only look stupid but disgustingly utterly a cork to the other one!

Gosh! Even a baboon can have more common sense out of it.

I can't believe such human exist! Should it even be called a human. I think even calling it an alien is unworthy.

Fuck!

Ja-Na

Every Chance

When I look back in my "love life" department, all I can see is just nothing!

How can this be? How can I had every chance and simply don't grab it? Or I do not know how to grab it?

I have to admit to the fact that, I'm not good with this kinds of things. Thats why I always end up with nothing. Nothing solid, its just a close friend kinda feeling and I really do not know why.

The weird part is when I really like that someone, somehow or rather I'll tend to fuck it up unintentionally. Why does this has to happen to the one I 100% give my commitment to?

Is it that this is the sign to tell me that its not the time yet?( Like what others claimed). Or is this the bliss I have to bear and end up being a bachelor for life? And I would have to consult those who are trouble without chargers. After they feel alright, they'll joke and tell me "you should open up a consultation firm". To me that hurts, wheres the appreciation? Fuck!

Well, I've being friends with different types of females, maybe The Man Above wants me to meet more before he would let me settle with the final one.

I guess is true what they say, "Save The Best For Last".

Rarerity

Today I didn't get to do my laundry in time. That's a little frustrating.

But, today I get to eat steam fish! Yeah..steam fish! HAHA! Accompanied by a plate of bean sprout cooked with salted fish and a plate of tofu cooked with onions. DELICIOUS!

The best part of today's activity was the sight of a rare item which I think its rare. A Leica film camera which I think was used during the Communist occupation. Its really old and the leather is really thick! Everything is in good condition, even the camera itself is working fine. RM450 for that, if I had the bucks to buy it, I will! *laughs*

I even saw one of the many things in my wishlist. A thigh pouch! AWESOME! Still, If I had the bucks I'll buy it. its RM180! *sobs*

Overall, it was an awesome Sunday!

Will You..Will You Not?

I flipped through photo albums again at facebook and I'm back again *laughs*.

Another thought come into my mind. Once upon a time, a few housand metres away from where I live, I get to know this someone and its for quite sometime now we lost contact. It seems that we were never meant to be together. No matter how hard I try, she'll just back off with anger. I guess acceptance is my only option. Persistence will bring me no where but, straight to frustration. And then what?

What will I think of that person? Would I hate her? Would I be sad to do the same stupid mistake again even though after all these years? Would I be happy for her that she finally met someone that really cares and love her until the end of time?

In the 1st place when I said that I think that we are not meant to be together. That's what my Mind tells me after what I've been through. Carefully plan what would i say to her. It all crumbles.

This is the 1st person that gives me cold sweat everytime I think of her. Makes me worry everytime after I text or call her. Makes me restless everytime after I met her. Makes me feels like home everytime I sit on the couch where she lives. That's one thing I can never take it out from my mind. To be seated in someones home and actually for the 1st time in donkey years I can feel that I'm home. But in the end, one stupid move and its all gone, just one.

I'm not saying I've regret not being much more careful to save the day. But here's where it gets more interesting.

Was it my mind that's the main force that makes me thing of that her? Whereby that she is actually herself genuinely?

So now the question is, Will I keep of thinking of her about the person she portrays to be? Or Will I just might as well stop thinking of all the teletubies fantasies of being with her but to think that she's better off with someone else?

You might say that I should meet her up and tell her everything. Like they say, "Let your feelings do the talking". For all I know, I should do it. But hey, this is not Brooklyn or Amsterdam. Neither its Milan or Sicily. I just don't know how to say it here. Here in a place where stuff I say elsewhere works perfectly.

The elders did once mentioned, "There are Valuables you may gain possess of but, There are also Valuables best remains".

*Sigh* ..Ja-Na

The Greatest Moment in Live

I've just logged out from facebook. It starts to tickle my mind, and that's how I end up in here. Another sets of wedding photo(yeah what so great about that right?). Well this is no ordinary wedding photo.

This particular set of wedding photo reminds me right to the moment when I was still in school. When I knew this guy called Jonas Fung. Tennis is the one thing I'll always remember him by. But that's all that I'd remember since we were only schoolmates, not classmates. He's very active in church though. My bet is the relationship grew from there, or maybe elsewhere. Cause the wife is our junior in school. New kid in town at a point of time. Which turns out to be active in church too. I have to admit that she is gracefully a beauty. Jonas you are one lucky bastard! *laughs*

The thing is, there we go, another fallen man, that turns his whole life into the Man of the House. A father to be. Which I think is a great task to handle in years to come. Responsibilities, patience, tolerance, care, love. Everything that you can think of to make a person the best father figure that he can be in the near future for his kids to look up to.

Thats not all. Its the people that supported him to get him through his biggest day. His wedding day. All of that people in the pictures are the people that I reconize(well of course not all of their partners). One of many which I remembered I cycled with him to school everyday when we were in form 1. The next thing you know, he's all grown up maturely smart and handsome. Alvin Ling, time flies right in front of my eyes and there you are. Jason Sii is a person that I remember as a quiet person. By the way nice camera you have there *smiles*. The first thing that flashes in front of me is him, Ah Cheong and me playing marbles at a playground in Kiong Soon Garden. Gosh..what a way to think back those days.

I guess I am getting older. I see more and more wedding pictures. Both, my guy friends and my female friends are getting married.

Lucky, three of my best friend never upload their wedding pictures in here. Else, I would have cried, having sleepless nights, having this mortal guild in me. 2 of them make an effort to reserve a chair for me at their wedding dinner. How much more can I ask for? I'm speechless.

That's why after that incident. I'll always think of that moment, the moment that I read that short text message. Every time I browse through wedding pictures, I will always remember you guys. The Greatest Moment of your Lives, and I didn't make effort to be there to witness that.

You can have all the Money in the world. But, you can't have that few Hours no matter how hard you try. Time is just Greater then whatever you can think of having. The funny thing is, Time is always and will be with you at all times. Whereby money makes your heart pounds so fast that it sends pulse to your brains to instruct your lips to carve a smile on your face. How cliche..Ja-Na