What's Love?

Some say,"Love makes your world a colourful one", or even "Love makes one blind" or "Love makes you things you never thought of doing before"

But what does it actually feel or mean, this Love. What does it do? How does it affect individuals? Does love have categories? Does love need conditions? Does Love even exist anymore?

Well, from My point of view, its nothing but bunch of bullshit. Its bullshit when someone is in denial of that love for something or someone. Love doesn't have to be shown or to be written. Love speaks for itself.

But, like every other word meant. Love too has pros and cons. Hah! I bet you even never thought of this one didn't you?

Lets see, whats so bad about Love? Lets start from the top. When there's love, there's jealousy. When there's jealousy, there's hatred, when there's hatred, here comes the interesting part. There's scandal, after that it becomes heartache, then it all goes around in a big circle again. Maybe I missed out a few other more important ingredients in this process of love.

But more importantly, what or would I put it, how did all of that happened? *smiles*

I can tell you one of many. It all started when a boy tells a girl, "Be mine, and I'll give you the moon and the stars". It used to be pickup lines back in our parents age.

Today its "Be mine, but you can't talk or meet any other guys"..?

So what does all that means? Its conditional Love! Imagine something so wonderful being put in as a contract? Something so pure, so sacred. Its like planting orchids then one fine day one will isolate it, cause its too precious or beautiful to be expose.

What da fuck is that suppose to mean? Does one ever remember who gave that flower to human beings? How can you decide one something that is not even yours? How can greed can just arise when one is dealing with another one? not thing?

Then comes the type of love.."I Love you, but I'm not in Love with you". Now tell me what da fuck is that suppose to mean? *giggles*

Does love have categories now? wow..There's so many rules and regulations in Love, where is the freedom? Cause that's all humankind have left.

No wonder you see people argue, kill, fight. Its all because in the beginning itself one is already spoiling the core.

Protesting or showing hatred doesn't help to get Love back. But, to build the One Love that always and has been in all human being is what we should do. So that, our future generation will enjoy the true meaning of Love. Ja-Na

Believe

I used to go to church every single morning since i was standard 3 until I finished SPM. I even went to sunset mass and Sunday mass. In between all that I went to other churches. To cut it short. I was raised S.I.B, educated and baptize in a Protestant church and getting my PhD in a Roman Catholic church. I guess still, my Mommy is the defending champion, she even attended masses in a Methodist church.

Enough about religion. What about what one believes in doing?

Do you believe that you can touch the moon and the skies? Do you believe that you can be successful in whatever field you are in the current future? Do you believe that one day, the world will be under one and one only ruler?

Sometimes it makes me wonder. Believing that one day I'll find the Right one. It never happens. But it turns out to be the other way round. I believe so deep in my heart that I marked the day that my eldest brother will come home(Sarikei) cause I believe that he's coming back. I can imagine him coming home, eating meals together, having fun doing traps in the backyard for naughty cats that steals our cat's food. For all I knew, that day was the day my late father passed away, and he really came back.

When I believe that I would have someone, someone to share my the air that I breath. It always ends up bad. Either the parents don't like me, or the family have to move to another state or country, or my mom just don't like her, or even as simple as a misunderstanding when she was have "the moment" of the month.

Like my colleague told me, religion is to give us hope. That I totally agree. For all the do and the don't in my past life nothing went the way I wanted it to be. But, I did hope for one thing. The one thing that I always ask from God in church every single morning in my prayers before I go to school. I asked for an interesting life(since life in Sarikei sucks to high heaven).

Guess what, I am having an interesting life. Going to college at a later age. Working and experiencing at the wrong moment of my life. Not having a pretty resume to be hand over to a company when I applied for a job. Jobless at one point of time. Working with wedges that can hardly be enough for a 16 year old kid gets for his/her pocket money a month.

Here I am writing this blog. Thinking what did I believe in having. I had it. Its because I believe that I'm already in it. What I don't understand is the culture shocks and the statements that people I've met and experience is way beyond my wildest imagination.

Right now, what I am thinking is actually nothing. I just don't know what to believe in now. I'm lost, I'm stranded, I'm still floating in mid air with water around me.

Sometimes there so much that I want to share, but it just seem to be insane to other human being.

Sometimes I really wanted to wake up and write something in here but the minute I woke up is already time to go to work.

I live a very simple life and yet its so hard for me to cope with it. I won't want to imagine what will a guy with a wife and 2 kids do.

Believing is so true that it happens. But the circumstances that one has to face is totally out of the picture that one painted in the mind. Can that be avoided? or minimized? Or is it against the Law of Nature that we are in control of the consequences which is applied to each and every step of one's move.

hmm..I guess I think too much. I wish I could just sit in a library full of books and do nothing but read and just don't care about whats happening and just keep on thinking of answers to my questions. Well, that's not going to happen cause I'm not a smart kid that have the luxury of being in an education facilities that provides such kinds.

Sometimes its hard to accept the path that one walks when one sees the other one walks a path which is so much different from his. One can be tolerant, patient, accepting, forgiving, sharing, caring, and learning. To what extend can one go? To what extend can one hold? Til then...Ja-Na

Thinking Thoughts

To care for someone was never affectionate,
But it brings misunderstand rather then bonding,
Effort always collides with appreciate,
But isn't effort defined as commitment by some?

Commitment always get one into confusion,
Companionship always lead one to seduction,
Desperation always lead one to comparison,
Physical intimacy always gets compassion.

Concepts always end up thinking,
Ideas always end up stolen,
Condemnation always end up striking,
Showing always end up proven.

Wealth always comes from the thought,
Lust was never from the heart,
Scandals will never get caught,
Memoirs always meant to be crafted.

The Imbalance that Balance Us

If you want something, you work for it,
Sometimes you'll receive it right after you work it,
Sometimes you have to wait a while longer to appreciate it,
Most of the time you'll ponder, "How the fuck can I miss it?"

When you show good deeds, others praise you,
When you project good intentions, others think of you,
When you found the solution, others thank you,
In return does all That really satisfy you?

If you are laze, everything turns messy,
If you are bad, everything seems so easy,
Sometimes you have badass attitude, girls find it sexy,
Sometime you do the wrong, it makes your heart happy.

To do good or to do the wrong doing,
Is actually what we do best as a human being,
Screwing underage always gets you canning,
Lying about the truth always make you charming.

For all the things that we do daily,
Is actually worse then a tooth fairy,
In the world today everyone need to be tech savvy,
To make sadeness go and make ourselves happy.

Cunt-fused

Why is it most females would rather keep quiet about something that they like to do or someone that they admire about but at the same time keep on giving response to the things that they don't fancy or someone that they don't fancy? Is that just female or is it just me?

When we men want answers, we want it straight to the point. I guess the same goes to women ey? Its proven when a women gets pissed of at you when only tell them the real shit about something. Same goes to the men. Maybe we tend to forget how important is that answer to the women. Same goes to the men. So why would most females just keep on responding and giving feedback to the ones that they aren't attracted to? Why not just say, "you suck, buzz off!". Owh! and now you would think that's very impolite to such a thing? That is bullshit. Instead you're torturing the heart. The heart has to calculate the amount of oxygen then has to mix it with the blood and then they have to distribute it to your entire body. Would you think the heart had the time to think about whats polite and whats not? Hell no! That is what the brain does, not the heart!

And guess what the guys think about the girls that are outspoken. They are so smart they called them bitches or sluts. Now, where in the blue hell did that came out? Outspoken females = attractive hotties! They speak their mind out. You'd be surprise if they can blow your minds out and not only your other brain.

The heart is already doing a very complicated and complex job EVERY single second of our breathing lives. So don't complicate it any further. Keep it simple and see how the world will evolve into. Ja-Na