Idiocracy

What came out on the newspaper recently and also accusation towards the wrong party is total the act of idiotic.

How can a legalize sport is to be put to blame being using illegal items for the sport? Now what? You guys don't get the cut in between? Or just plain jealous? Or is it just lazy to even put effort in supporting the interest of the younger generation of this country.

Yes, paintball is legal in Malaysia, else why they held tournament all around Malaysia? Its generating money for everyone. The society is happy, as to the dealers, as to the law that legalized it on certain safety requirements.

No, airsoft is not legal in Malaysia, but hey, if other countries can legalize the sport, why not us? If you would to google up airsoft products. Even the military and law enforcers are impress with the result that is given. I guess Malaysia's Protector has more advance products and they have no interest in this type of bullshit.

But, if one were to get caught possessing or owning one, don't blame it on the others, don't blame it on paintball. Just make sure that airsoft is either STRICTLY illegal or ban it straight. Why is there still bits and pieces around whereby the big shots are the ones that is to get blamed for.

I'm not siding on even both side. As the matter of fact I love airsoft more then paintball, but the law abides Malaysian citizen to own one, so all we have is Youtube clips and also catalogs from the internet to quench our thirst for the passion of that sport.

I would really like to see the country evolves with more common sense in the brain and not just "whats my cut" philosophy to everything that goes in and out of the country. Fuck that!

It kills the enthusiast, it kills the dreams, therefore, it kills the interest to even live in one country when the law of it just doesn't make any sense. To evolve, to grow, one needs to bare with the consequences, due in time it will be all good. That's called effort. Is there effort in this matter?

Don't just look at the dark perspective of a sport or even a product. Think of the bright perspective on what good can it do to the society and also the country and it will be all smooth. Bad seeds will always grow, else what are law enforces for? Minimizing the cause is better then having it infected all over.

Its human nature that laws are mend to be broken, but if its kept and preserve in the proper correct manner, we can uphold and upgrade to be better human beings and not just being stagnant at one point but wish so much to grow.

What's Love?

Some say,"Love makes your world a colourful one", or even "Love makes one blind" or "Love makes you things you never thought of doing before"

But what does it actually feel or mean, this Love. What does it do? How does it affect individuals? Does love have categories? Does love need conditions? Does Love even exist anymore?

Well, from My point of view, its nothing but bunch of bullshit. Its bullshit when someone is in denial of that love for something or someone. Love doesn't have to be shown or to be written. Love speaks for itself.

But, like every other word meant. Love too has pros and cons. Hah! I bet you even never thought of this one didn't you?

Lets see, whats so bad about Love? Lets start from the top. When there's love, there's jealousy. When there's jealousy, there's hatred, when there's hatred, here comes the interesting part. There's scandal, after that it becomes heartache, then it all goes around in a big circle again. Maybe I missed out a few other more important ingredients in this process of love.

But more importantly, what or would I put it, how did all of that happened? *smiles*

I can tell you one of many. It all started when a boy tells a girl, "Be mine, and I'll give you the moon and the stars". It used to be pickup lines back in our parents age.

Today its "Be mine, but you can't talk or meet any other guys"..?

So what does all that means? Its conditional Love! Imagine something so wonderful being put in as a contract? Something so pure, so sacred. Its like planting orchids then one fine day one will isolate it, cause its too precious or beautiful to be expose.

What da fuck is that suppose to mean? Does one ever remember who gave that flower to human beings? How can you decide one something that is not even yours? How can greed can just arise when one is dealing with another one? not thing?

Then comes the type of love.."I Love you, but I'm not in Love with you". Now tell me what da fuck is that suppose to mean? *giggles*

Does love have categories now? wow..There's so many rules and regulations in Love, where is the freedom? Cause that's all humankind have left.

No wonder you see people argue, kill, fight. Its all because in the beginning itself one is already spoiling the core.

Protesting or showing hatred doesn't help to get Love back. But, to build the One Love that always and has been in all human being is what we should do. So that, our future generation will enjoy the true meaning of Love. Ja-Na

Believe

I used to go to church every single morning since i was standard 3 until I finished SPM. I even went to sunset mass and Sunday mass. In between all that I went to other churches. To cut it short. I was raised S.I.B, educated and baptize in a Protestant church and getting my PhD in a Roman Catholic church. I guess still, my Mommy is the defending champion, she even attended masses in a Methodist church.

Enough about religion. What about what one believes in doing?

Do you believe that you can touch the moon and the skies? Do you believe that you can be successful in whatever field you are in the current future? Do you believe that one day, the world will be under one and one only ruler?

Sometimes it makes me wonder. Believing that one day I'll find the Right one. It never happens. But it turns out to be the other way round. I believe so deep in my heart that I marked the day that my eldest brother will come home(Sarikei) cause I believe that he's coming back. I can imagine him coming home, eating meals together, having fun doing traps in the backyard for naughty cats that steals our cat's food. For all I knew, that day was the day my late father passed away, and he really came back.

When I believe that I would have someone, someone to share my the air that I breath. It always ends up bad. Either the parents don't like me, or the family have to move to another state or country, or my mom just don't like her, or even as simple as a misunderstanding when she was have "the moment" of the month.

Like my colleague told me, religion is to give us hope. That I totally agree. For all the do and the don't in my past life nothing went the way I wanted it to be. But, I did hope for one thing. The one thing that I always ask from God in church every single morning in my prayers before I go to school. I asked for an interesting life(since life in Sarikei sucks to high heaven).

Guess what, I am having an interesting life. Going to college at a later age. Working and experiencing at the wrong moment of my life. Not having a pretty resume to be hand over to a company when I applied for a job. Jobless at one point of time. Working with wedges that can hardly be enough for a 16 year old kid gets for his/her pocket money a month.

Here I am writing this blog. Thinking what did I believe in having. I had it. Its because I believe that I'm already in it. What I don't understand is the culture shocks and the statements that people I've met and experience is way beyond my wildest imagination.

Right now, what I am thinking is actually nothing. I just don't know what to believe in now. I'm lost, I'm stranded, I'm still floating in mid air with water around me.

Sometimes there so much that I want to share, but it just seem to be insane to other human being.

Sometimes I really wanted to wake up and write something in here but the minute I woke up is already time to go to work.

I live a very simple life and yet its so hard for me to cope with it. I won't want to imagine what will a guy with a wife and 2 kids do.

Believing is so true that it happens. But the circumstances that one has to face is totally out of the picture that one painted in the mind. Can that be avoided? or minimized? Or is it against the Law of Nature that we are in control of the consequences which is applied to each and every step of one's move.

hmm..I guess I think too much. I wish I could just sit in a library full of books and do nothing but read and just don't care about whats happening and just keep on thinking of answers to my questions. Well, that's not going to happen cause I'm not a smart kid that have the luxury of being in an education facilities that provides such kinds.

Sometimes its hard to accept the path that one walks when one sees the other one walks a path which is so much different from his. One can be tolerant, patient, accepting, forgiving, sharing, caring, and learning. To what extend can one go? To what extend can one hold? Til then...Ja-Na

Luck Never Exist

Luck never exist, so does coincident,
Love exist always by accident,
Separating couples always have an evident,
To blame each other when it comes to judgment.

Luck never exist, so does talent,
The smart ones always stay silent,
The hardworking ones always increment,
The lazy ones end up getting accomplishment.

Luck never exist when it comes to life,
Even when you're choosing a girlfriend of a wife,
You promise the moon, the land and even the sea,
But when you already have her, argument is all you foresee.

The Mind is so complex that no one can expect,
How much more of power and potential that it can project,
To crave for someone is always an impact,
To not have that something is also in the aspect,
Showing off something always has the sense of respect,
To let the mind help you might always be correct,
But if you believe in yourself, then everything will be intact,
For this is what The Great Mind has always implicate.

The Imbalance that Balance Us

If you want something, you work for it,
Sometimes you'll receive it right after you work it,
Sometimes you have to wait a while longer to appreciate it,
Most of the time you'll ponder, "How the fuck can I miss it?"

When you show good deeds, others praise you,
When you project good intentions, others think of you,
When you found the solution, others thank you,
In return does all That really satisfy you?

If you are laze, everything turns messy,
If you are bad, everything seems so easy,
Sometimes you have badass attitude, girls find it sexy,
Sometime you do the wrong, it makes your heart happy.

To do good or to do the wrong doing,
Is actually what we do best as a human being,
Screwing underage always gets you canning,
Lying about the truth always make you charming.

For all the things that we do daily,
Is actually worse then a tooth fairy,
In the world today everyone need to be tech savvy,
To make sadeness go and make ourselves happy.

Cunt-fused

Why is it most females would rather keep quiet about something that they like to do or someone that they admire about but at the same time keep on giving response to the things that they don't fancy or someone that they don't fancy? Is that just female or is it just me?

When we men want answers, we want it straight to the point. I guess the same goes to women ey? Its proven when a women gets pissed of at you when only tell them the real shit about something. Same goes to the men. Maybe we tend to forget how important is that answer to the women. Same goes to the men. So why would most females just keep on responding and giving feedback to the ones that they aren't attracted to? Why not just say, "you suck, buzz off!". Owh! and now you would think that's very impolite to such a thing? That is bullshit. Instead you're torturing the heart. The heart has to calculate the amount of oxygen then has to mix it with the blood and then they have to distribute it to your entire body. Would you think the heart had the time to think about whats polite and whats not? Hell no! That is what the brain does, not the heart!

And guess what the guys think about the girls that are outspoken. They are so smart they called them bitches or sluts. Now, where in the blue hell did that came out? Outspoken females = attractive hotties! They speak their mind out. You'd be surprise if they can blow your minds out and not only your other brain.

The heart is already doing a very complicated and complex job EVERY single second of our breathing lives. So don't complicate it any further. Keep it simple and see how the world will evolve into. Ja-Na

Circle

How do you define a circle? Is it just a sphere that started off from a point of a pencil on a piece of paper that eventually moved by force to go into a curve and end up at the same point where you started? Or is it when u stand in one position and turn around with your God gifted body which has muscles and your eyes sees things around you and tells your mind that you're moving in 360 degrees? Or you define it as a radius around you that you're able to sense or notice things that evolves and progress every single second of your precious life?

Circle can be define in various ways. It can be define from a dictionary for those who just learn the word circle, or for those who are lazy to think about what circle really meant in the first place. It is actually a sphere that is form from a point of a pencil and to be move in a curve direction and ends up at the point where it started. To think of that particular motion and to adapt it to you daily life, thats what its all about. From the very moment you open your eyes from a beautiful dream or a nightmare or even a wet dream with your love ones, and smell the very air that your brain recognizes, your smelly teddy bear or blanket or pillow that haven't been washed for days, the scent of your odor, your lovers fragrances that stains on your shirt or pillow, the morning breeze. Then, you'll clean up yourself and get ready for whatever you're suppose to do after you have your very 1st meal of the day, which is considered the most important one, breakfast. Then you spend you whole day outside of you bedroom doing productive activities like work, studies, socializing, experience, and memories which you'll keep or forget. When night falls, you'll come back to bed and your body tells you that you're tired enough to shut down and rest and it goes back to square one. Sleep.

What if I tell you that every single thing that you do in life is base on that very circle that we use to draw in kindergarten? Would you agree? Things that you do over and over again every single day but you don't realize that actually life is just a circle, a mere cycle that make you go through the sun and the moon which human labeled it as a day. In the world today things get so complicated. I can just pick one good topic to talk about. Sexes.

Why must women prefer to be with women, or men prefer men? Is it a trend? Or does an individual feels that he/she is born in such a way to be like that? God created two different species of human so that the cupid would have their job to shoot bloody arrows, ain't that Valentine's Day for? No? Why in the hell Valentine's Day is such a hype these days? Flowers and chocolates, gifts and dinner, constructive words that triggered the mind to say "OK" to sex and end up having a miscarriage or going through an abortion when Durex wasn't pleasurable and pornography is disgusting to both genders that thinks that they are good in whatever that they are doing and do not need safety and guidelines in what will happen when the real load of shit drop on them. Therefore, hatred develops and evolves into a change of preferences in gender. Women starts to seek women and men starts seeking men. Its because the level of comfort zone is easier to obtain in that manner? Its because the word solution is overrated? Where is the challenge factor in an individual like that? Wheres the feeling of getting up and try again? Wheres the sense of adventure in seeking for a life partner? Where is the love?

You might think that its a harsh thing to say, but hey, its reality, it happens every single day and there are worse. Guy can't get girl to bed, guy gets frustrated, end up butt fucking another guy. Hilarious may it seems, but the agony of not getting a female in a men's life duels deep down in his heart and it won't submerge ever again. Its because he decided to take the easy way to his comfort level, and dare to call himself a man?. Englishmen labeled the word "Gay". Next thing, some idiot got trapped in it, and for all you know, it became an "in-thing" to do? Again, hilarious may it seems, but what about females? Their agony pars with the males doesn't it? Lets see, girl gets guy to like her, she blushes. Girl gets guy to buy her things, she blushes. Girl gets guy to do things for her, she blushes. Girl found out that the guy is an expert in a game called "Cinta Kayu Tiga" (sorry to non-malaysian readers, its called the Love Triangle game). Girl gets angry cause she loses her virginity to the guy, gets angry because she put effort in loving the guy, gets angry because she spend so much of time, money and effort to make sure that in public she and him can be seen by the public as one hype, happy and loving couple which she hope and wishes that people will be jealous about, hopefully can be a role model to them who wants to be coupled in the near future and being published in magazine and be glamorous. After all this, she ended up to be with another women. Englishmen labeled the word "lesbian". Another idiot got trapped in such situation the only difference is the gender, the porn industry picks it up and finds it intriguing, the next thing you know, they made money out of it. Creative may it sound, but hey its against the circle that everyone went through. Mother nature doesn't like that. Thus, disaster falls on earth in separate regions. It won't happen without a reason.

Living in denial is about phrase that it seems to fit the puzzle. They are 2 species of these for both sexes. Lets start with guys, since I am one. Guy dates a transsexual, and guy dates another hot looking macho guy. What is the difference? Well there is a BIG difference. Lets start off with guy dating transsexual. Well its another way of tagging himself as "I still can fuck a chic but its a he, thats all" or rather equivalent to "loser", but that word doesn't strike much of a person's feeling, we're Malaysian, so we might say these kinds of dudes are more labeled as "dungu(loser) or dugong (sea lion without a ball)" its a word that doesn't imply in proper manner. Just a word. To actually tagged the guy a sea lion is still fine, what about the transie? He is not even he anymore, he's half way to becoming a she but he's not she, so how do people address them? Mak Nyah (some term to to be polite in Bahasa Melayu) to be denial about life, sampah (rubbish) to be truthful but hurting. Another category is a guy that dates a guy that looks like a guy. Well lets simply put it as "I still can fuck a chic but its a he" only that this time its an updated version. Softwares has patches, so does humans. We humans try to make living a better experience. Now its version 2.0! What a breakthrough!

What about the females? Well females do have 2 species too. Theres female dates female looking female and female dates male looking female. Difference? We'll start with a female dates a female looking female. Its another way to tell we men "Hell, she treats me better then you do". Well what are friends for in the 1st place? Are they for you to fight over a guy that is cute so that you can ditch you friend? Are they for you to fight over a dress cause you think you can fit in better and look better? Are they for you to fight over who looks and acts better like Paris Hilton? The answer is no, friends are for you to go to consult with and get over with you troubles. They are as good as your family members, why do friends exist is because your family are unavailable at time or can't really understand your feelings. Only a friend can do that, to understand you to comfort you and to cheer you up. This applies the same to males too. Heres another example of how a female runs to her comfort zone using a shortcut. As for the females that like male looking females. Its total rubbish, its such an obvious scenery that you're living in a denial life. Its like showing people that you want a guy, but you want the guy without balls and a shaft cause without that you won't have to go through with another night where that thing will have to drill you through the night and makes you dehydrated and tired. Well, what is the mouth and brains for darling? To speak your mind out! Don't take the short way to your comfort zones, work it out. You'll be satisfied with your effort to solve this very problem.

As for naturally born human that likes their own genders, please don't be upset with what I wrote, because to me, you are the ones who are the people that the others are going to meet and ask and learn what is it like to be like you. Hopefully they'll learn your good skills and attitude to be a better person. Whereby you have to endure your nature. To like your own gender naturally is not a blessing its a curse, but you have to remember that you'll have something special in you that no ordinary human have, and that is Why Queer Eye For A Straight Guy show is so famous! Cause they have realize WHO they are and WHAT they are capable of. You can make a difference, start small and grow strong. You are the species that the human have to look up to, because it doesn't matter what gender are you, you have both in you, and having that naturally gives you the ability to judge whats good and whats not in you very own opinion. That is something that actually people is hunger for. Not your tight assholes or your long fingers.

Well thats a pile of crap that I never though I'll ever write, but hey! I just finished it! Until then, as usual, write me back about this one..Ja-na!