Friday, January 19, 2007

Memoirs, Dreams, Materialize, Hon-To-Ni-Deska?

In 2001, I've been expose to KL live. I must say more to selangor kind of life, KL's more hectic. Well, being a teenager in a place full of Lust, Temptation, Greed and Fog of Feelings. I have to be grateful to a handful of people which makes me the person I am today. Firstly, I have to thank my buddy Eric Choo a.k.a Yoshito, don't matter if we still keep in touch or not, but he's the 1st friend that I really had which is the same age with me when I got the first job on my own (minus the other part time jobs i got through people). Well, basically he's the one that poised me, the one that that taught me, the one that was with me through thick and thin. But, not all Eric, not all(laughs).

In 2002 (if I'm not mistaken) I met this wonderful person, which turn my life 360 degrees round vertically and 180 degrees horizontally. Lets just keep it as the letter "D" so I won't offend anyone in any matter. Well, as lame as you want to call it, I met D over the Internet. We corresponded through e-mails and finally get to meet up and get along quite well at first. I found out that D is someone that i really can tag along with after Shirley. D is someone I can say that really Materialize my dream of an ideal companionship. It all tagged along until I made a very bad bad mistake. I really regretted it, still D gave me a second chance but I blew it not long after that. How naive of me at that time. I treasure, remember, mourn and dream that one day I could meet D again to say "This is me now, this is what happened to me after you left, after I learned it the hard way, after I have to start all over from crawling out of the shit hole that i dug with my own two hands, then walked then clean up the shit all over me, then stand up on my own two feet".

I really suffer all these years. At first, I try to get over it. I did but eventually memoirs will come back when one lays head on the pillow and the minutes to dreamland, the thoughts of the past will haunt the mind. I figured out that I still can't get over the fact that D is the one. I strife to be a better person from a jerk to a person, which until today I still want to improve. Because, I always believe that one day, just one day, I'll be given a second chance to contact D. True enough I just did a few hours back. I still can't believe this is happening, but its happening. I'm not expecting anything from D. All I want is another chance to make it right this time. That's all I asked and I hope that the Person Upstairs allows that. Cause in most cases He won't. Well until then, more about D next time. Ja-na!