Will You..Will You Not?

I flipped through photo albums again at facebook and I'm back again *laughs*.

Another thought come into my mind. Once upon a time, a few housand metres away from where I live, I get to know this someone and its for quite sometime now we lost contact. It seems that we were never meant to be together. No matter how hard I try, she'll just back off with anger. I guess acceptance is my only option. Persistence will bring me no where but, straight to frustration. And then what?

What will I think of that person? Would I hate her? Would I be sad to do the same stupid mistake again even though after all these years? Would I be happy for her that she finally met someone that really cares and love her until the end of time?

In the 1st place when I said that I think that we are not meant to be together. That's what my Mind tells me after what I've been through. Carefully plan what would i say to her. It all crumbles.

This is the 1st person that gives me cold sweat everytime I think of her. Makes me worry everytime after I text or call her. Makes me restless everytime after I met her. Makes me feels like home everytime I sit on the couch where she lives. That's one thing I can never take it out from my mind. To be seated in someones home and actually for the 1st time in donkey years I can feel that I'm home. But in the end, one stupid move and its all gone, just one.

I'm not saying I've regret not being much more careful to save the day. But here's where it gets more interesting.

Was it my mind that's the main force that makes me thing of that her? Whereby that she is actually herself genuinely?

So now the question is, Will I keep of thinking of her about the person she portrays to be? Or Will I just might as well stop thinking of all the teletubies fantasies of being with her but to think that she's better off with someone else?

You might say that I should meet her up and tell her everything. Like they say, "Let your feelings do the talking". For all I know, I should do it. But hey, this is not Brooklyn or Amsterdam. Neither its Milan or Sicily. I just don't know how to say it here. Here in a place where stuff I say elsewhere works perfectly.

The elders did once mentioned, "There are Valuables you may gain possess of but, There are also Valuables best remains".

*Sigh* ..Ja-Na